You see the title, you see the movie, you say yes and hop on with me on this new adventure. Crypto casino reviews is the name and high stake no limit Texas Hold ‘Em is the game. It’s the Rounders movie review. Let’s play some (beep) cards! Preferably at our crypto casino..

If you can’t spot the sucker…

You know what still really gets me about this movie after all the time I watched it? The mood. The worn-out bricks in the underground gambling spot run by the Russian mob. The misery and life lessons contained in the people visiting these places is all wrapped in a nice smoky bowie tie. It’s the Old Noirs movie’s offspring and it’s making papa proud. And what does a noir movie need? That’s right, a jaded down in the dumps detective who gets a call from a special lady. 

Our detective is a 3rd-year law student and an ex-poker prodigy Mike McDermott (Matt Damon). He’s flying in hot, kissing his girlfriend, dropping 3 stacks of high society ($30k) and all-inning like it was nothing. But he gets his cards handed to him by a Russian mobster Teddy KGB (John Malkovich). Mike, having figured out he is the eponymous sucker, swears never to come near a poker game again and retires. Flash forward and we get to the lady call…

We can’t run from what we are

So another great aspect of the movie is the honestly loaded cast. John Turturro and Martin Landau fill out the star-studded supporting cast with the already mentioned Malkovich. But it feels I am forgetting somebody. Hmmm. Oh yeah, EDWARD NORTON! He is bringing his A-Game, giving life and complexity to what appears to be a not so well written character. Worm isn’t a very interesting character and the fan-love he gets can be attributed to Norton’s innate sleaziness being lovable. 

You know what it is, he doesn’t struggle with himself at all. Okay, Mike’s in the plot-central struggle between doing what he loves (Poker) and the safer but more boring option of law school. Then we got Joey Knish (John Turturro) an old-timer who gave up on high-stake poker and became a family man. Even though he’s a sort of a father figure to Mike, his whole MO stir filings of regret with which he struggles. Professor Petrovsky won his struggle by accepting who he is and advises Mike to do the same. And of course, John Malkovich struggles with giving a bad performance even if he’s trying his damnedest to do so. 

That’s all well and good you say but where is the lady you promised?! Well, the lady in question is lady luck pulling her strings and pushing Mike to play once more. Yap, no other female character in this movie, yessiree! O fine. I’ll talk about the girlfriend charters.

So, the girlfriend charters, Jo (Gretchen Mol), was originally a much smaller part having 2 or 3 scenes max. The gap would have been filled by another college friend character who was the strait-laced counterpart to Worm. This would definitely fix up Worm’s character by playing him off his polar opposite and underscoring his flaws. But we are stuck with a character who only contributes a boring B-plot, which decrements the otherwise great movie pacing. This wouldn’t be a crypto casino review if we didn’t ask: Is the poker any good?

Texas Hold 'Em play now

Did you have it?

So if you watched this, you know it, this is the poker movie! It was the stake in the ground for the ’00s poker boom. It’s the thing you quote at every Saturday game with your mates. Or maybe you’re a lone wolf playing online tables at the crypto casino and quoting it inside your head. To put it simply, it’s definitely the reason for many of us playing and writing about poker to this day. So the poker in this game is legit. The terms Flop the nuts, Rags and a Mechanic vary in dirtiness but are all explained seamlessly in the film.

 I can only nitpicks three things out of this movie. The first is an overemphasis on tells and not enough focus on the game theory and stats tracking. Now, this is a small one because these aspects are harder for a general audience to grasp so forgive/forget. 

But the other sins won’t pass so lightly. The second one is showing all big hands all the time. Full houses flying left to right, pocket aces and what not. And then come to the John Chan scene. You’re telling me that John Chan wouldn’t notice someone not betting for 6 orbits, then all-inning next round! “Did you have it?”. No John, and you should have known that.

Give that man his money

Okay, I might have come off a  bit too strict with the film and I am. We here in Crypto casino reviews believe in doing things right! I have seen this movie so many times it has integrated into my retina. That means I know it’s every nook and cranny and with that all of its imperfections. So, to finish this on a high note I want to give praise to this movie’s biggest perfection, Teddy KGB.

 Matt Damon and John Malkovich are sitting opposite each other and are both content with life. Then they hear “Action” and something changes in Malkovich. In a burst of energy he starts palatalizing EVERY WORD HE SAYS. Damon is in shock, Malkovich sees this, he leans in and says “I’m a terrible actor.” No, this is not my fanfic, this is real and confirmed by Damon in 2016. So yea, no real Russian speaks anything remotely like that. No. That manner of speech is reserved solely for the GOD. So, whenever you have a bad beat just say “pyay him, pyay thyet mhyan hyis money” and it’ll be alright. This was Crypto casino reviews and I wish you a good day!

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