Slots are all well and good, but there can be too much of a good thing, you know? I need a little flavour in my diet, some spice, which originates somewhere left of the coast of Mexico. That’s right people, pack some pf 500 cause we are visiting the Caribbean, to play some poker. Caribbean hold’em poker to be more exact. This will be my first time playing, so I’ll be sharing a few highlights from the 100 rounds I’ve played. I’ll be playing at Yabby Casino because they have an instant withdrawal method. Ready? Let’s go!
Googled what an ante is, dropped a 25 chip, and hit deal. I am killing it. Ace of hearts and 3 of spades. Not bad, not bad. Hmm not an Ace or 3 in sight on the flop, but I am feeling it, let’s go! O…
So, a 5 of clubs and 9 of hearts. Cool. Cool. And the dealer has a pair of Jacks. Welp if you don’t succeed, try, try again. On to the next round.
Another 25 and I’m feeling fly. Jack of hearts and the same suit queen. That’s good enough for me. But what’s that my eye spots on the flop: a fair maiden in a clover dress. And some other cards, who cares? A pair of queens, let’s do this. Hit me. A pathetic pair of 10’s from the dealer and nothing scary on the board. That’s 100 bucks in the bag. I can only go up from here!
Okay, keep it together man. You are still 5 for 4, it doesn’t matter that you lost 3 straight, you are still winning. Come on now, keep it safe let’s go – 10 chips this time. Nice. A pair of queens and nothing but small fries on the flop. We are going in fellas (or gals, we are an inclusive institution here). Call. Ha! I laugh at your puny 6 and 7, not even of the same colour. Wait a minute, it says the dealer won!? A straight? Is that even legal (it is in fact in Caribbean hold’em poker it’s very legal), Jesus?! That’s it! Time to get serious…
You know what my problem was. No, not an all-around unawareness of hand rankings or an incomplete grasp of the betting odds. No, my problem was that I didn’t bet enough money. Fortune favors the bold. Come on baby, a 100 on the ante and 100 left in the bank. A couple of Jacks and the flop 7, 9, 8 diamonds. Uh, I saw this dance and number before. Welp, it’s all or nothing. Call. Can’t open my eyes, did I win? I did!? I mean, of course, I did. A jack and 6 on the turn and the dealer has 6 and an Ace! Pheeeew, that could have been uncomfortable. On to the next one…
You know, I don’t think the problem was that I wasn’t betting. So, what is the lesson here universe, huh? Why did I have to play Carabien hold’em poker when slots are so much more relaxing. Welp, no time to weep, there is money to be won. Let’s see a 25? Yeah, that seems about right. Ehm, hit me (pretty please). An ace and 3. Long time no see, old friend. And the flop is looking particularly ugly today. Ehhh so this is it this is how it ends, I press call and it’s all over. No. I am better than this. You got this, man! You can still win the war. I will fo… I will
Fold. Yap. I said it. F-O-L-D. Fold. It’s just a silly 25. There is a lot more Caribbean Hold‘em poker to be played here. NEXT.
You know I matured quite a bit as a man, through this whole ordeal. I think for all the ups and downs the dumb straights I couldn’t see coming a mile away and doubling down on ace. I am at a good place now, mentally, and more importantly monetarily. So, let’s do a 100 for old time sake. King and Jack of cloves. A king and some small fries on the flop. Both brain and gut agree, we are going in. And it’s a loss. Three Jacks you say. BAD WORD you Caribbean Hold‘em poker! BAD WORD you to hell! No, I am okay with this I knew the risk. I am a grown, man. Yet it still stings. Next, I guess.
Well, you know what they say you win some lose some. Let’s go out with a bang. Or not. Remember it’s good to quit while you are ahead. But I am still not ahead. So once again I pray to you universe give me strength (or a straight either will do). A 50 for you. And a 3 and 10 of hearts for me. Hmm. As they say when life gives you lemons you make lemonade. The flop is looking tame (4,3, Jack diamonds). Here goes nothing. Call. I won. I WON!? How the dealer had a 3 and king? O he didn’t qualify. Thank you, gods of poker (more specifically gods of Caribbean hold’em poker). Thank you. Now for some long-overdue relaxation with the slots.
Well, I had a blast. Think you can do better? Then head on over to the Yabby Casino lobby and play some poker. Or, if you are not a fan of poker why not try some slots? I hear Bubble Bubble 3. It’s pretty hot right now.